Letter of Introduction (Draft 1)

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Dear Professor Brad,

I am writing to formally introduce myself to you. My name is Chen Chi Lok (Roy). I have been pursuing courses related to engineering since college started. I graduated with a Nitec in mechatronics engineering at the Institute of Technical Education, followed by a diploma in biomedical engineering at Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP). Currently, I am a first year student studying robotics systems engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT).

The good thing about being an engineer is that if something isn't working my way, I can just make it exactly how I want it. With that knowledge and application, I now control the room ambience and temperature verbally with voice control. As a side hustle, I provide smart home integration technology to my customers. In the future, I would like to create an A.I for commercial use, however the idea of an A.I go rogue is real, so to further understand the concept of A.I, I chose robotics systems engineering.

Aside from hard skills, I acquired soft skills during my polytechnic days. As an executive committee of the NYP Ambassadorial Team, I was groomed to be a leader and an effective communicator. It is necessary to maintain the impression as a student leader and morale of the team.

However, despite having the confidence to express my idea during formal meetings with our team manager, I have trouble getting my point across clearly. I would blank out moments after my mouth opens and stutter. 

Fast forward into 2 years after the Covid-19 situation, I realized my communication skills are affected. I no longer speak as well as I used to and I believe it is due to lack of practice. I am eager to retrieve the essential skill of communication through this module, unlearn the false practices and improve my writing skills with your mentorship.

 

Best regards,

Chen Chi Lok (Roy)


Reviewed the Introduction letter of Caleb, HuiSi and Joleen.

Comments

  1. CalebSeptember 6, 2022 at 10:20 PM

    There are no sentence fragments

    ReplyDelete
  2. Akmal RusyaidiSeptember 13, 2022 at 7:52 AM

    Firstly, your blog design is mesmerizing. Thanks for sharing with us Roy, your story suprises me at how far you've come. Some pointers I found,
    Word form: "A.I going rogue is real"
    Modal Verb: "if something isn't working my way, I can make it how I want it."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roy ChenSeptember 23, 2022 at 4:24 AM

      Hahaha thank you for your kind words and noticing the error. I'll make sure the language gets better next time I share something like this.

      Delete
  3. Jethro ChangSeptember 14, 2022 at 2:25 AM

    Outstanding post, Roy. I really like how to your BlogSpot's design is unique. Thank you for sharing your education journey in your letter and amazed by how far you have came. There is not much errors, however there are some grammatical mistakes. Overall, I really like your letter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roy ChenSeptember 23, 2022 at 4:33 AM

      Thank you Jethro, I'm happy to hear you feel that way. I noted on the grammatical mistakes and I'll be learning from it!

      Delete
  4. joleenSeptember 14, 2022 at 7:03 AM

    Thank you for sharing with us your education journey, as well as your relevant work experience. It would be nice if you can elaborate on the type of smart home integration technology you are providing. I believe there should be a comma after 'however' in the last sentence of your second paragraph.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roy ChenSeptember 23, 2022 at 4:36 AM

      Hey Joleen!
      I did not realize that I missed out on the elaboration for the integration technology. Unfortunately, I'm not providing it anymore. I noted on the punctuation mistake too, my bad. Thanks for letting me know!

      Delete
  5. Yong JieSeptember 14, 2022 at 10:43 AM

    This letter is engaging and enjoyable to read. In this letter, you shared your education background, your interest in robotics and explained your strength and weakness clearly. However, I believe you missed out on your past working experiences.
    There are some grammatical mistakes in this letter. But overall, this letter is well written.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roy ChenSeptember 23, 2022 at 4:41 AM

      Hey Yong Jie!
      Thanks for reminding me about my past working experience and letting me know about the grammatical errors. I appreciate it!

      Delete
  6. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 18, 2022 at 2:40 AM

    Dear Roy,

    Thank you for this fairly clear and rather detailed letter. I appreciate the content being aligned with the assignment brief, the generally effective organization and the mostly effective language use. You've done a good job providing some details for each specific topic area, allowing us readers to gain a better understanding of who you are. However, you need to add some clarifying statements.

    I appreciate your sharing on your communication skills and the goals you have to improve those. From the discussion of your experience in the school club (as well as your demeanour in class), it's easy to see that you have great potential for further developing leadership skills in our module. I invite you to do that. It's also clear that you want to polish skills related to interpersonal comm, which we address mainly implicitly in this module. In terms of those issues and other challenges, you seem motivated to work hard, so participating seriously in the classroom activities such as the project meetings will allow you to do that.

    As further developing your writing skills is undoubtedly one of your goals as well, please allow me to point out a couple language issues:

    1. lack of clarity
    -- I now control the room ambience and temperature verbally with voice control. > (You need to provide context for this statement. Where? When? How?) ?
    -- I provide smart home integration technology to my customers. > (You need to provide context for this statement. Where? When? How?) ?

    -- It is necessary to maintain the impression as a student leader and morale of the team. > (lack of effective structure to convey the meaning)
    As a student leader, it is necessary to give the impression (of what? strength? wisdom? concern?) to gain support and and provide morale to any team.

    2. sentence structure
    -- In the future, I would like to create an A.I for commercial use, however the idea of an A.I go rogue is real, so to further understand the concept of A.I, I chose robotics systems engineering.
    > (comma splice/language structure)
    In the future, I would like to create an A.I. for commercial use. However, the idea of an A.I. robot going rogue is real, so to further understand the concept of A.I, I chose robotics systems engineering.

    I look forward to working with you further this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roy ChenSeptember 23, 2022 at 5:10 AM

      Hi Professor Brad!
      Thank you for your appraisal and words of encouragement. I will do my best to notice the errors in my writings by myself through your mentorship and achieve my goals!

      Delete
  7. Roy ChenSeptember 23, 2022 at 3:56 AM

    Hi Jia Ming, thanks for reminding me about stating my working experiences. I'll include that next time and work more on improving my grammar!

    ReplyDelete

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